Get Back Up.

This is love calling, love calling,
Out to the broken, this is love calling.
This is love calling, love calling,
I am so broken, this is love calling.

Get up, get up; you're gonna shine again.
You may be knocked down, but not out forever.

My Mood

I'm going to smile like nothing's wrong,

Talk like everything's perfect,

Act like it's all just a dream,

And pretend all this isn't hurting me.

Thirty Day Challenge: Day Five.

Day 5: Post a picture of yourself from two years ago.

Many of you, especially those who know me well, will get a kick out of this. Enjoy, World.

This was Januaryish? Of 2009. I count that as close enough to two years ago. We were on the way to MSU for a SAGE field trip. That was a fun day, not gonna lie. (:

Thirty Day Challenge: Day Four.

Day 4: Post your favorite picture of your best friend.

I have two best friends, so I believe that two pictures are necessary.

World, meet Morgan [above]. My drop-dead gorgeous best friend.

World, meet Alex, my absolutely amazing big sister. She has completely and entirely changed my life many times over.

:)

I Like This.

Thirty Day Challenge: Day Three.

Day 3: Your idea of a perfect first date.

Ohh boy lol. This is a really tough one, considering the only "first dates" I've been on have ended badly... Honestly, I don't ask for much. I'm very easy to please, I'm not picky, and it's not hard to make me smile/laugh. The idea of my perfect first date would probably be going out to dinner and then walking through a park.. maybe Stoney Creek? Along the beach. It's the closest thing we have to a beach in Shelby, anyways. Okay so maybe not a first date, but if my future boyfriend ever took me on this exact date, I just might love him forever.

Inspirational Pictures.

this is very, very true.

story of my life.

Thirty Day Challenge: Day Two.

Day Two: A photo of something you ate today.

Yes. A bagel. I love bagels. I don't eat them that much because the only good ones have loads of carbs, but this plain bagel was definitely yummy. :)

Those of you who know me don't think I'm as strange as the ones who don't. Sorry if I creep you out a little.

Hey You.

Yes, you. You have a beautiful soul. Despite what everyone says, or despite all the flaws you may think of yourself; you are beautiful. And I may not know you completely or at all, but you are unique and lucky to have such a lovely soul. Show everyone that you do. Smile, even if something goes wrong, smile at that little trouble, show it that you can conquer it, that it won’t bring your dreams down. That despite everything that goes wrong, you are content and you will and are okay. Because every beautiful human being was created on this earth for a reason; you have purpose. Show those wrongs that you have purpose, because you do. You’re meant for great things; you’re meant for a friend, you’re meant for a family member. You’re meant to be on earth to create joy. Let your beauty shine. And maybe your heart has been broken one too many times. But look here I am, I still stand. I will not lie, my heart has been shattered one too many times as well. But I have not given up, I keep going and moving. Rough times come for a reason, but spring will always come around I promise you, it will. You’ll smile again, your heart will be okay.

From this blog.

Thirty Day Challenge! Day One.

I've decided to take part in a 30DC both on my facebook and blog. This should definitely be interesting to see if I can keep up with it all!

Day One: Post a photo of yourself and a description of your best day in the past week.

The best day for me in the past week was, for sure, my 15th birthday. My friends made it the most enjoyable day I've had in a long time(: I got a couple of really sweet cards that made me cry and a lot of hugs. Overall, it was a really good day! And I for sure enjoyed myself. I even got to blow out candles on a crepe! :D Oh, Cercle Francais. Je t'adore. After our French Club Party, I went to band rehearsal, and I got happy birthday PLAYED to me.

Now, tell me that isn't a wonderful birthday.

Confessions

Confession #1: I love quality time. It's one of my favorite things in the entire world. This weekend, I got to spend some quality time with the best friend, and it made me so much more comfortable and relaxed. I love how I can completely be myself around her and not have to worry about anything else. I can be completely sugar-high and slap happy, or I can sob on her shoulder, and she really doesn't care. She's always there for me and I don't know where I'd be without her. My other best friend and I are trying to plan some quality time to spend together, since, although we text each other almost every waking moment, we rarely see each other outside of school, and even if we do, it's usually for a school related function. Although we've only really known each other for a month (tomorrow!), she's easily one of my favorite people in the world. She's one of those people you can't help but be yourself around, and she ALWAYS makes me smile. It's gonna be a lot of fun when we just have a day for ourselves to spend time with just each other. :)

Confession #2: I'm afraid to go ice skating. As a branch-off of the preceding confession, Morgan and Alex want to take me ice skating. To be honest, I'm quite afraid. I have a really off sense of balance, even though I'm a dancer. Something with my inner ear, I guess. But when it's easy to slip, or I'm on ice (even without skates), I fall. I've skated twice in my life and both times I've ended up hurting myself in one way or another. One time I bruised my tailbone pretty horribly, and the other time I hit my head on the ice. Needless to say, that wasn't all that pleasant of an experience. I hate having fears and I try to overcome them, but I'm not sure if I can do this. I don't want to look like a baby and say that I won't try it, but I don't want to go and make a complete fool out of myself. I don't know, it's just scary.

Confession #3: I love sleep. If I could constantly sleep and still get everything done that I need to, I would. I take naps whenever possible (which is NOT often) and I love the feeling of crawling into bed with everything for the day finished at 8pm. Unfortunately, this doesn't happen very often, and usually I go to bed with things not finished and have to wake up early the next morning to finish it. I'm not a morning person.

Love

Angels

Sometimes, your best friends are angels in disguise. Thanks for being my angel.

I'm a very lucky girl, you know. I have three angels.

Morgan and Alex, pictured above, respectively.

And Lauren Ann Shuttle. R.I.P., I love you.

Smiles

When the world gives you a thousand reasons to cry, look at me and know you have at least one reason to smile.

I love it when you smile.

This is for you, Firework.

I'm Thankful for....

This Thanksgiving, I have a lot to be thankful for.

1)We just moved into a new house, and I have my own room and a roof over my head, most importantly.
2)I have the best friends in the world. They always pick me up when I'm down and always make me laugh, even if I want to cry.
3)All of my grandparents that I've ever known have lived to see yet another Thanksgiving.
4)I'm healthy, off steroids and medication, and can live like an average teenager.
5)I have a Lord who loves me more than I could ever imagine.
6)Even with divorced parents, I still see both of them and they are both actively involved in my life.
7)I have a little kitty who loves to cuddle in my bed at night.
8a)I have my confidant best friend who let's me vent to her whenever I need it.
8b)Said confidant is only a phone call or text away, no matter what.
9)I am able to keep up my grades and still live a life that doesn't involved being cooped up in my room 24/7.
10)I have an amazing StuCo family.
11)I have an amazing little sister.
[Sidenote - She's completely crazy, and yes, sometimes I want to slap her across the face, but I still love her.]
12)The Fab Five. 'Nuff said.
13)There are people who are more than willing to give me a hug, virtual or real, whenever I may or may not need it.
14)I can stay in touch with long distance friends that I love soo much.

What are you thankful for? :)

Baby, You're a Firework

Most inspirational song I've heard in a while. I'd suggest looking it up if you haven't heard it yet.

Do you ever feel like a plastic bag
Rolling in the wind
Wanting to start again?
Do you ever feel so paper thin
Like a house of cards
One blow from caving in?
Do you ever feel already buried deep
Six feet under screams
But no one seems to hear a thing?
Do you know that there's still a chance for you
'Cause there's a spark in you?
You just gotta ignite the light
And let it shine
Just own the night
Like the 4th of July, 'cause
Baby, you're a firework,
Come on, show 'em what you're worth.
Make 'em go oh, oh, oh
As you shoot across the sky
Baby, you're a firework
Go on, let your colors burst
Make 'em go oh, oh, oh
You're gonna leave 'em falling down
You don't have to feel like a waste of space
You're original
Cannot be replaced
If you only knew what that future holds
After a hurricane
Comes a rainbow
Maybe the reason why all the doors are closed
So you could open one
That leads you to the perfect road
Like a lightning bolt,
Your heart will blow
And when it's time, you'll know
You just gotta ignite the light
And let it shine
Just own the night
Like the 4th of July
'Cause baby, you're a firework
Come on, show 'em what you're worth
Make 'em go oh, oh, oh
As you shoot across the sky
Baby, you're a firework
Come on, let your colors burst
Make 'em go oh, oh, oh
You're gonna leave 'em falling down
Boom, boom, boom
Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon
It's always been inside of you
And now it's time to let it through
'Cause baby, you're a firework
Come onm show 'em what you're worth
Make 'em go oh, oh, oh
As you shoot across the sky
Baby, you're a firework,
Come on, let you're colors burst
Make 'em go oh, oh, oh
You're gonna leave 'em falling down.
Boom, boom, boom
Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon
Boom, boom, boom
Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon.
<3

This has been a message for my big sister, Alex Shalayko, as this is our song.

TWLOHA

I saw this and felt the need to share it, because I think the message is just that incredible. No, I don't have any wise words or pearls of wisdom right now, but I think this is something everyone should see. To Write Love on Her Arms is a foundation to prevent and reverse depression and related problems in teenagers. I have friends who have been helped by this foundation, but many people haven't heard of it. So I just thought I'd throw that out there. :)

Hm, I like pearls...

So.. I have absolutely nothing clever to say, but it's been a while since I've posted and I feel like I'm long overdue. I've been confused lately.. Not necessarily in a bad way though. Many people ask, "How can you be confused in a good way?" You may be one of these people. I, dear friends, have an answer. Confusion leads to questions, and questions lead to answers. A pearl of wisdom I gained through reading vast amounts of poetry and listening to more songs than there are stars in the sky (okay, maybe not THAT many, but you understand my point), it's helped me out a lot. I have a lot of questions in my life and I pray one day God will answer them.

PS. The above picture has no relevance. I just love this picture.

Huh, that turned out to be decently clever after all.

One Thing

At FUGE this summer, we did an exercise where we had to choose one intangible thing that we absolutely couldn't live without. I really struggled with this, because there are a few things in life that I decided would be difficult to let go. I was down to support, hope, and love. Sure, there's plenty of tangible things that we all think we can't live without- cell phones, computers, television, clothes, best friends, family, whatever it may be. The intangible things, I think, are taken for granted for than the tangible ones. How many times do we actually think about how much we love our best friends? Have you ever thought about what it would be like if you had no hope? What if you were never supported in anything you do? I couldn't live, honestly. Not without those three things.

These are some things I take for granted:

Friends.




Teachers.



Gorgeous weather.



Something I took for granted: R.I.P. Squeakers. I love you babygirl <3




I wish I'd met Jenna a lot sooner so she could teach me this. :)

I Hope You Dance

So lately, I've learned a lot about myself. Like, a lot, a lot. I've learned what it's like to win, to give up, to lose, to have, and to be patient, because God knows I need help with that one. I need help with everything, and God has been there through it all, along with some other amazing people. There's a song that I used to listen to when I was younger. It's called "I Hope You Dance" by Lee Ann Womack. The lyrics mean a lot to me, so I'm just gonna post them here.

I hope you never lose your sense of wonder
Get that fill to eat, but always keep that hunger
May you never take one single breath for granted
God forbid love ever leave you empty-handed
I hop you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens
Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance, I hope you dance.
I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Living might mean taking chances, but they're worth taking
Loving might be a mistake, but it's worth making
Don't let some hell-bent heart leave you bitter
When you come close to selling out, reconsider
Give the Heavens above more than just a passing glance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance, I hope you dance.

Oh hey, it's me.

The above picture is of me and the little girl from Vacation Bible School who was, almost literally, attached to my hip. Her name is Teagan. :)

Well this looks interesting.

10 Favorite Words/Phrases
1. Well, that went well.
2. Insane.
3. I lovee youu.
4. Way to go. (Sarcastic)
5. Just sayin'.
6. Hellooo.
7. I know, right?!
8. Amen.
9. Like, seriously.
10. Legit.

9 Things I Never Get Tired Of
1. HUGS. Any of them, any kind, all the time. They don't always fix everything, but they always make it better.
2. Dancing. I'm so incredibly upset that I'm not dancing until November.
3. Writing. Whether it's songs, poems, stories, or just random pieces, I love writing with a passion.
4. Music. My clarinet is my baby. I'm getting an alto saxophone and a new guitar. All my instruments have names. My marching clarinet is Luna. My wood clarinet will be Esperanza. My saxophone will be Cecile. My guitar will be Eve. My keyboard is Lawanda.
5. Classic Disney movies. The princesses are great, but Mulan, Beauty and the Beast, and Aladdin have to be my favorite movies.
6. Painting. Although I rarely get the option, I love to.
7. Drawing. I'm quite the abstract artist. I can't draw realistic for CRAP.
8. Purple. Anything in that color. Shoes, walls, clothes, ANYTHING.
9. Flowers. I kinda really love them. Seeing them, receiving them, smelling them, photogtaphing them.

8 Things I Never Leave the House Without
1. My cell phone, even though it's broken.
2. My iPod.
3. My purse (yes, it's purple!).
4. My necklace with my freshman and sophomore rings on it.
5. My hair straight or up. Never curly, ever.
6. My camera (which is also purple).
7. Hair ties.
8. My fake braid, for Teagan. <3

7 Favorite Quotes
1. "Scars are beautiful." -Jenna Sanders
2. "Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think." -Winnie the Pooh
3. "You don't have to act small to make other people feel good about themselves." -Anonymous.
4. "One day, you're gonna shine again; you may be knocked down, but not out forever." -TobyMac
5. "If you're alone, I'll be your shadow. If you want to cry, I'll be you shoulder. If you want a hug, I'll be your pillow. If you need to be happy, I'll be your smile. But if you need a friend, I'll just be me." -Me
6. "What you do does not determine who you are; who you are determines what you do." Ryan Warren
7. "You are the master of your unspoken words, a servant to your spoken words, and a slave to your written words." -Centrifuge Speaker 2009

6 Most Influential People
1. Jenna Sanders
2. Morgan DeWilde
3. Megan Penzkofer
4. Mes parents
5. My youth group <3
6. Other friends, I guess.

5 Life Mottos
1. When life gives you lemons, make orange juice and leave the world wondering how you did it.
2. You only live once, but when you live like I do, once is enough.
3. If there aren't mistakes in life, you learn nothing, go no where, and there are no goals.
4. Love moderately, for long love doth so, too quickly arrives as tardy too slow. -Shakespeare<3
5. Reach for the moon. If you miss, you'll land among the stars.

4 Lessons I Learned This Year
1. God is real, and He cares about me very, very much.
2. I have the most amazing friends in the entire world.
3. I have a calling to missions. Not quite sure what this entails, but it's there.
4. Meeting new people and actually talking to them is the best thing in the world. <3

3 Things I Would NEVER Do
1. Go bungee jumping, skydiving, cliffdiving, or anything of the sort.
2. Eat anything that isn't edible.
3. Give up on anyone.

2 Secrets
1. I actually really enjoy Shakespeare.
2. I'm really shy, unless you talk to me. So come start a conversation! I'll be happy to talk(:

1 Biggest Dream
1. I want to go on a mission trip, somewhere, anywhere. I just have to wait for God to show me where.

VBS

Hey guys! Sorry it's been so long; I've been super busy lately.

This week is going to be insane, but I'm absolutely ready. Every night, I'm teaching Vacation Bible School at my church. Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday mornings, I have mini band camp. I also have to pack for band camp on top of everything.

Saddle Ridge Ranch is this year's VBS theme. I'm teaching music to Pre-K through 4th grade kids, and I'm having an awesome time. Even though I have a brace on my knee, I still jump around and get the kids excited. They really enjoy the crazy (and extremely silly) songs that we sing. Ever since I worked with the kids at Brush Arbor, I've had a huge soft spot for them. I'm really glad that I'm getting the opportunity to share with them about God through the music. It's going to be amazing seeing how many kids accept Christ this week. Please be praying that the kids learn more about God and can take it home to their families.

Witnessing

Today, I witnessed to a good friend. We'd drifted apart and haven't really talked until today since just after school let out. I told him about how I had been praying for him even when we hadn't been talking. He seemed moved by this, and mentioned his faith. This opened a huge door for me to talk to him. He told be about how his family doesn't go to church, and the only Bible he has is one of those children's Bibles. I was astounded at this, since I've known him for a while. I shared with him some of my favorite verses from the Bible. His favorites were from Luke 6, about loving your enemies. I shared with him the whole passage, and he seemed quite enthusiastic about it. Secretly, I was thrilled with this. I wanted to get up and start screaming in joy, but being on crutches right now, that probably isn't the smarted move. Instead, I praised God for this opportunity. I am beyond happy right now. He even told me he hasn't prayed in months, but he was going to start praying again, because I told him about how much better my life is now that I trust God with everything. He's really thinking about this a lot, and I don't want to push anything on him. I'm praying on my own for God to help me witness to him.

If anyone has any advice for me, please let me know!

"We'll sing until the whole world hears."

A Stained Glass Masquerade

"Would it set me free if I dared to let you see the truth behind the person that you imagined me to be? Would your arms be open or would you walk away? Would the love of Jesus be enough to make you stay?"

^^The above song lyrics are from Stained Glass Masquerade by Casting Crowns. That song came up on my iPod last night, and for one of the first times in my life I really listened to the lyrics. The whole song is about how the singer feels like he is the only guy in the world who goes to church with burdens, and hides behind his "painted grin." The song kind of described my life, even up to the quoted part. And to answer the question: Yes, it did. It set me free to finally tell someone EVERYTHING. And believe me, that took a couple of late night conversations to get it all out. Her arms were open, and she stayed and listened.

Galatians 6:2 - "Carry each other's burdens, and in this fulfill the law of Christ."

Amazing People

"I've heard it said that people come into our lives for a reason, bringing something we must learn. And we are led to those who help us most to grow if we let them, and we help them in return. Well I don't know if I believe that's true, but I know I'm who I am today because I knew you."

"It well may be that we will never meet again in this lifetime, so let me say before we part: So much of me is made of what I've learned from you. You'll be with me like a handprint on my heart. And now whatever way our stories end, I know you have rewritten mine by being my friend."

These people have changed my life for the better:


My best friend, Morgan DeWilde. She taught me what it's like to be a real friend who sticks with you through anything, no matter what.


My other best friend, Courtney Brinker. She taught me how to be a Godly friend, let loose, and be crazy. She's basically the one to blame for my personality. Oh, and she's dealt with me for almost 9 years now.


My Fuge Leader, Jenna Sanders. She taught me more than I can list here about faith, life, and hope.


My dance teacher, Ashley Gajos. She taught me how to use music and dancing to release yourself and a lot of other life lessons.


My other dance teacher, Kris Gajos. She taught me about life, respect, and, of course, dance.

Those are just a few people who I love and respect outside of my family.

Songs, Writing, and CLB

I'll praise the God who gives and takes away.

The song "Praise You in this Storm" by Casting Crowns has described a pretty huge chunk of my life. I first heard the song last summer at Centrifuge in Ridgecrest, North Carolina, and I fell in love. A few lines that really described me and hit me hard:

"I was sure by now that You would have reached down and wiped our tears away; stepped in and saved the day, once again. I'll say amen, but it's still raining."

"As the thunder rolls, I barely hear you whisper through the rain, 'I'm with you.'"

"You are who You are, no matter where I am."

"Every tear I've cried, you hold in your hands. You never left my side."

"Though my heart is torn, I will praise You in this storm."

"You heard my cry; You raised me up again."

I felt like the whole song was written for me, especially as the next year progressed. The whole song, which can be heard here, describes everything I've gone through. It reminds me that God is always there for me, when I need him and when I don't. Scratch that; I always need him. But even when I think my life is going awesome and I don't think I need Him, He quickly reminds me that I do need Him. More than anything.

On a different note: If you haven't noticed,I love to write. I love it, perhaps more than anything else. I didn't take up the love until recently, within the past year. As I was looking around on Google at things about writing (because I clearly have THAT much time on my hands) I found this: You Know You're A Writer When...! So here it goes.

You sleep with pen and paper next to your bed.
-And next to the shower, and on my laptop (where Word is always open), and...

You have a favorite punctuation mark.
-I love me a semicolon; they spice up any sentence. ;)

You have a favorite pen.
-BIC Roundstick Fine - Blue.

You get caught up in plotting your next scene and put the cereal in the fridge, and the milk in the pantry.
-Usually it's the next line, since I'm more of a songwriter, but yeah, I've done it.

You desperately want Crayola tub markers so you can write down all that great dialog that comes to you in the shower.
-Again, not dialogue, but lyrics/lines, for sure. I really do want these tub markers.

You love restaurants that put a big sheet of paper over the table cloth and leave you with a handful of crayons.
-YES! And I always rip off what I've written and take it home.

You’re talking to a real, living, breathing person and suddenly stop and listen because one of your characters interrupted you.
-No, but I will stop and take out my Random Inspiration Notebook (which is ALWAYS in my purse, thanks to Morgan DeWilde) and write down what they said so I can use it later.

You think sleep is way overrated. Who needs more than three hours anyway?
-...this I cannot agree with. But I will wake up in the middle of the night and write down my dreams and elaborate in the morning.

Your novels are backed up on your laptop, your husband’s laptop, two thumb drives, and you’re seriously toying with the idea of getting a safe deposit box.
-For me it's my songs/short stories/other writings, and they're on my laptop, desktop, dad's laptop, and USB drive that I am very upset about misplacing...

And finally, you know your a writer if you look at yourself and see a writer. Everyone else looks at you and sees an obsessive-compulsive, anal-retentive insomniac with a pen fetish.
-Yeah pretty much.

So yeah, I love to write. That's basically it. And I'm so glad that God has given me this talent and is allowing me to share this with the world :)

Oh and to finish up this post: I love Courtney Lee Brinker. She is one person in my life I can ALWAYS count on, no matter what.

A More Beautiful You

"So turn around; you're not too far to back away, be who you are. To change your path, go another way, it's not too late; you can be saved. If you feel depressed with past regrets, and the shameful nights hope to forget, they can disappear, they can all be washed away by the One who's strong, can right your wrongs, lift all your fears, dry all your tears, and change the way you look at this big world. He'll take away your dark, distorted view and with His light show you the truth and again you'll see through the eyes of a little girl."

Bridge. ^^
You've made your mistakes. You're going to keep making mistakes; there's no way around it. But God loves you anyways. If you want to get rid of your regrets, you can. All you have to do is trust Him. He WILL right your wrongs. He WILL lift your fears, dry your tears, change the way you look at the world. He WILL change your view and show you the truth. I'm living proof.

I've made my mistakes, just like everyone else. I'm definitely not claiming to be perfect, or anything near that, because I'm not. I've done stupid things, just like the next person. And I claimed to have Jesus for a long time. And I might have had him. I did when I was seven and accepted him. But being a teenager and growing up where I do didn't help, and the situations I had going on made me feel like God had abandoned me. I felt lost and hopeless.

I had a strange relationship with God. I only prayed when I needed Him. I would go to camps and hear a sermon on being fake or fading from God, and I would rededicate my life to Him. Or so I thought. I still never felt whole. I would cry, because I didn't know what I was doing wrong. I thought that maybe God didn't want me. I know it sounds ridiculous, but that's how I felt. Then I went to Girls Missions Camp a few weeks ago, like I do every year. I always went for the creative movement and socialization. That was really it. While I was there, I felt God knocking on my heart. I ignored it, because I thought it was just nerves from being around all new people. Then I went to M-Fuge the next week, and God sent Jenna into my life to begin working in me. We started talking on Tuesday, just about the Bible study and how it relates to our lives. By Wednesday, we were sharing about our lives. By Thursday, she was showing me a lot about God and his Word that I didn't know. I couldn't believe how stupid I had been. In reality, I wasn't stupid. I was just upset and I didn't want to deal with anything, so I shut God out. After Jenna prayed with me, I felt renewed. I went back to my dorm (after curfew, of course) and prayed by myself. Now I live for God. But these lyrics help me realize the commitment I've made and that I have no regrets making it.

"He loves us; Oh, how He loves us so."

In This City - And Yours

"Greater things have yet to come, and greater things are still to be done in this city."

Every time I hear those lyrics, I cry. The song reminds me of my calling to missions and what I need to do to fulfill it. The song became the soundtrack of my trip to Williamsburg. The city is impoverished. It's ridiculous how these people have to live, compared to how we live. I can almost guaruntee if you have enough time to sit around reading this blog on your computer, you are way better off than the people of Williamsburg.

As I was talking to a few friends about this song, one of them asked me a question that really got me thinking - again. She said, "Which city?" I responded with the first thing that came to my head: Every city. And the more I think about it, the more truth I find in that.

Williamsburg is a town with a population of about 1,400. That's not a lot. And yet, in this little town that very few people have heard of, an M-Fuge camp was still set up at the University of the Cumberlands. Greater things are still to be done in Williamsburg.

Now, I live kind of near Detroit, MI. Totally different ball game. Yes, we have people living in poverty, but we have a population of about a million.. I think? I'm not sure. Either way, it's a lot bigger than Williamsburg, KY. And unlike Williamsburg, I'm pretty sure almost the entire world (unless someone lives under a ROCK) has heard of Detroit. We're known as a crime capital of the world. Greater things are still to be done in Detroit.

"Greater things are still to be done here."

Embrace Your Weaknesses; Call Them Uniquenesses

"I embrace my weaknesses and call them uniquenesses."

That line is in the recently popular Youtube video, "Epic Rap Battle." Honestly, when my little sister played the video for me, I thought the song was the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. I mean, think about it. If you haven't heard it yet, it's about two guys at a restaurant fighting over who gets the waitress's phone number. They have an "epic rap battle" to determine who gets it, and in the end, she just writes her number on the back of the bill and sets it on the table before walking away, leaving it up to the boys to determine who gets it. It's kind of stupid. But I heard it, and thought, "Hey, there's actually a line in that song that means something."

And I got to thinking.. which if you know me, that's not always a good thing. But I think it was okay this time.

I have weaknesses. You have weaknesses. We all have some sort of weakness, whether we want to admit it or not. We try to cover up those weaknesses, and make them seem like strengths. But I mean, let's be honest. We can't all be good at everything. We're human. We make mistakes and screw up. A lot. I mean, I know I do. My life has been a mass of mistakes and wrong turns because of weaknesses. So let's think about this. We have a weakness; actually more than one. Many of us try to cover it up. But especially after hearing that song, I want to embrace my weaknesses.

While surfing through the channels on TV, I came across an episode (well, I think it was Hannah Montana? But I don't know.) on the Disney Channel. Some random character said, "It's who I am. Accept it; embrace it; leave it alone." I laughed at this, and then continued to surf through the different channels until I found something better to watch. But as I was writing this post, I thought of that. Do we honestly need to change to be someone we're not, just so we can fit in, and have friends? Are they really friends if they don't know the real you?

Recognize your weaknesses. Don't deny that you have them, because that is a weakness in itself - denial. And instead of trying to cover up those weaknesses, embrace them, and call them uniquenesses. I know that since I've been doing that, I've felt a lot better about myself.

Psalm 147:3

Psalm 147:3 - "He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds."

This verse came to me all week as I was working in Williamsburg. The first day, our leader told us that 41% of households are non-families, meaning that the parents are separated, divorced, or widowed, or the children live with aunts, uncles, or grandparents.


One of the little girls I worked with, Nashya, was telling me about how her parents are divorced and her mom has a boyfriend that she doesn't like. I thought to myself, as I was listening to her story, "She's SIX! No six year old should even have to go through this!" I couldn't believe this. But I remembered Psalm 147:3 and I knew that God would take care of her.

I pray for her, and all the other children of Williamsburg, every time I think of them. And like He did for me, God will heal their broken hearts and bind their wounds.

Scars Are Beautiful

So at camp this past week, I got very close to my leader. I felt like she was that one person in my life I could go to about anything, and I still do. On Thursday night, as we were talking, she said something to me that really stuck out: "Scars are beautiful. God looks at you, and he sees those scars and everything you've been through, and He knows your pain, but he thinks you're beautiful, because you were made in His image."

That really shook me. I've struggled a little with self-confidence and self-conciousness in my life. I've never thought of myself as beautiful, to be perfectly honest. I'd always thought that there were so many people in the world who looked better, acted better, just had a better life and were more suited to do this, do that. And the fact that God looks at me and He thinks that I'm beautiful... that really made me think.

Any Christian, and many non-Christians, has heard the Creation story. It's well known that us Christians believe that God spoke said thing into existence, and there it was. He spoke into existence the light, dark, sky, land, seas, plants, and animals. He simply spoke them into existence. Just a "Let there be..." And there it was. Simple as that. But it says in Genesis 1:27 that "...God created man in His own image...male and female He created them." He didn't speak us into existence. He took clay and mud from the ground and molded man. He CREATED us. I don't know about you, but I find that pretty amazing.

Scars are beautiful. When Jenna said that to me, I got chills. I wouldn't look her in the eyes, and right then, I felt like crying. I couldn't even begin to fathom that my Heavenly Father - my Saviour - out of everyone in the whole world... He thinks that I am beautiful.

And whether you believe it or not, no matter how many scars you have and how many things you've done wrong, He thinks you're beautiful and will always be waiting with arms open wide.

Camp Changed My Life

Hey everyone! I cancelled my old blog, because it was going no where.

I went to M-Fuge this past week in Williamsburg, Kentucky, at the University of the Cumberlands. Honestly, the only reason I wanted to go was because I have a lot going on in my life and I honestly did not want to deal with any of it for a week. I'm so glad I went, because this week absolutely changed me.

On the first day, we signed up for our tracks. I was placed in my number one choice of Children's Ministry. My leader was absolutely phenomenal; I know God put me in her group for a reason. We ended up doing Social Ministry due to weather complications on Day 2 (the first day on site), but my group met the sweetest lady that day. Joyce wrote such beautiful poetry, and she knitted this gorgeous American flag blanket... we were all in awe of her talents. Days 3 and 4 we worked with the sweetest kids in the Brush Arbor Apartment Complex. Shayna, Nashya, and Norma were perhaps some of the cutest and sweetest kids I've ever met.

The worship this week was amazing as well. I could not believe the excitement and fire everyone felt to serve God! We were taught a lot about ourselves and each other. All week, I thought about everything I've been dealing with at home, and unfortunately, I felt like that took away from my experience. My grandma has been quite sick, and I have constantly been worried about her. I realized all week that I needed to give it back to God, and let him take care of everything. Every night at worship, I cried, because I wanted so bad to give it to him, but I couldn't. I honestly don't know why, I just couldn't. But the last night I was there, after talking to my leader, I surrendered it all back to God.

I now live my life for God, and I will let him show me exactly what his plans are for my life.